Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
