I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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