can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
