Barsexuality is the new black.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
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I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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