I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
