My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
