i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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