i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
