hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
