You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
