I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
A bitchslap is in order.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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