Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
