im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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