using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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