..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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