can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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