Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
