i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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