Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
