I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
