Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
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My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
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My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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