I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
