is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
