Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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