I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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