he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
