My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters