Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Randomize
