I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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