Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Randomize