This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Randomize