you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
