I'm drive I can fine osifer
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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