Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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