if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
