This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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