as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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