Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
