Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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