What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
