Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
