No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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