My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
