Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
