i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
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Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
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She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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