I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
