Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
