I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
