Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
