yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
