Sponge bath it is.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
