My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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