Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
