I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
