The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
