He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
