butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I hate all girls vehemently.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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