Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
