I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
