Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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