Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
