I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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