Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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