I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize