I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
